Written by Mrs Catherine Morrod, Year 6 Teaching Assistant and Head of Debate Club – Surbiton High Girls’ Prep School
Why Communicating Clearly Matters at a Girls’ Prep School
Communicating clearly and confidently is a vital skill that extends beyond school. Articulating your thoughts and ideas is key to success in many contexts, from the personal to the professional. In a world with a 12.8% gender pay gap (ONS)—where there are more chief executives in the FTSE 100 named Simon or Andrew than there are female bosses—at Surbiton High Girls’ Prep, we recognise the need to support our girls in finding their voices. As a leading independent girls’ prep school, we offer many fun, engaging ways for pupils to develop and use their communication skills.
Oracy Across the School
Although quiet diligence is also highly valued, oracy is actively promoted at Surbiton High Girls’ Prep in all year groups. From whole-school assemblies to TED Talk-style speeches and the History Oracy Project in Key Stage 2, this private school provides numerous opportunities for girls to enjoy speaking up.
But what of the reluctant communicator? How do we support them in overcoming reticence, or even fear, of public speaking?
A Warm and Supportive Environment
At this girls’ prep school, the atmosphere is warm and inclusive—a place where mistakes can be made safely. Speaking is not only encouraged, but it is also an intrinsic part of the curriculum and is mandatory for all at certain times. Key Stage 2 oracy highlights—such as Polar Project presentations and StorySlam—require a confident voice, open body language, and good eye contact.
For some girls, however, the very idea of speaking in public can make the palms sweat, the heart race, and the mouth as dry as a desert.
Building Confidence Through Resilience
By encouraging resilience and approaching mistakes as opportunities to learn and grow, we help girls overcome public speaking avoidance.
Meeting weekly, the Girls’ Prep Debating Club—where we practise the art of civil disagreement—positively encourages spontaneous speaking, embracing inevitable verbal slips and ‘styling it out’ with humour and fortitude.
Practical Ways to Support Public Speaking at Home
Many practical strategies can also be encouraged at home:
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Encourage expression, not perfection. Mistakes will happen; embrace them. Adopt a ‘when not if’ approach and practise moving past mistakes.
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Model calm communication. Parents can be role models rather than passing on fears of speaking to an audience. Discuss speaking mishaps and how you overcame them.
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Breathing. Taking deep breaths works wonders to calm nerves, as do shoulder shrugs and a happy wiggle or shake before speaking.
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Power Pose. Plant your feet, relax your hips and upper body. Own the space.
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Mindfulness. Positive self-talk (‘my words are important’) and visualising yourself addressing the room confidently.
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Voice control. Slow and loud. Aim for the back of the room. Don’t fear a pause—use it.
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Notes. Key points on a small card.
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Foster the belief that their ideas matter. Discuss these as a family in relaxed settings, such as at dinner or on car journeys.
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30-second Speak Up game. Choose a topic, and everyone speaks for 30 seconds each. Also great for practising essential listening skills.
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Practise, practise, practise. Then relax and have fun! Perform for anyone who will listen. If you enjoy it, the audience will too
Clever Techniques for Public Speaking
Finally, a public speaking ‘cheat’. Much is made of eye contact. When debating at this independent girls’ prep school, girls are reminded that their notes do not have a vote, so do not waste your winning words on them—look up, connect, draw us in.
For many, however, eye contact is simply terrifying. Luckily, there is always a friendly face. Here is a trick used by the Pupil Leadership team at Surbiton High Girls’ Prep: speak to the forehead until you feel courageous enough to make full eye contact. Undetectable and effective.
They also employ a ‘fake it till you make it’ drama technique: ‘Today, I am playing the part of a very confident speaker’—until it becomes part of who you are. This technique has been successfully used by the Head Girl Team and by pupils who won prizes at the Epsom Public Speaking competition.
The Gift of Speaking Up
Ultimately, focus on what you are saying, not to whom. The aim is for our girls to understand the value of their ideas and voice. Speaking fosters empathy, and they should view their words as a gift to the audience.
At this private girls’ prep school, sharing wisdom, encouraging others to think, and speaking confidently are all integral parts of a pupil’s development. Breathe. Relax. Then speak up.
